The many stages of Drunkenness

Having done some fairly extensive research into the matter, I have come up with a preliminary list of the numerous stages of drunkenness.

I'm hoping that my efforts can be added to and ammended, until we have a comprehensive reoprt on the matter.

Stage 1) You have a few beers, you feel perfectly sober, but are enjoying the drink
Stage 2) A couple more, you begin to feel that everthing and everyone is wonderful, you start to talk a bit of crap, have a bit of banter. You feel the urge to buy a few more
Stage 3) General drunken chaos, I can never really remember this stage, but I always get the impression that it's been great.
Stage 4) After Mission/VodBull/wherever, I begin to feel like I'm totally sober. I probably send a few silly txt msgs, get the munchies, want to eat greasy food.
Stage 5) Wake up in the morning, feeling nailed again. Have fun trying to stand up, let alone walk in a straight line. Showering is an extremely complex, energy sapping ordeal. Realise I must have been more drunk than I though the previous evening!

What stages do YOU go through?

Sam

1) First couple, a loghtness enters my body, I feel relaxed and happy
2) A few more... slghtly stoopd drunk, gigling, laughing.
3) Moving into mission teritiory, I behave in a bizarre manor and may become an extremely skilled dancer and coversationalist.
4) Grease desire, kebabs are definitely nessecary at this point
5) realisation... kebab eating is a difficult process, I'm drunk, desire to sit down.
6) sitting down, always end in sleep, usually in a sensible place
7) Hangover

Apparently I sent the following text message at 3.45am this morning:

"Just got all excited! Sure I'll be suffering tomorrow, but it was great fun while it lasted! The cat's looking at me in a funny way... Dodgy character"

What happens to me when I drink beer? Why does my mind turn clinically insane?

Sam

don't worry about it sam, you don't actually go mad, you actually think it'll be funny to send stoopid messages.

its not that you lose your mind, you simply think the messages you're sending are hilarious.

Classic message though.

My stages are:

1) Have a couple of beers, feel relaxed
2) Have a few more and immediately need to argue something with someone
3) After a few more, shouting is a good plan
4) Cruelty kicks in (like buying Sam a Captain Morgan last night -- what nasty stuff!)
5) Everything seems fine as I leave and send dodgy text messages
6) Walking home seems a good idea
7) Wake up with really aching feet and a horrible head
Go to work still drunk

--Matt

Number 4) on your list is a particularly hilarious habit you've formed!

Never fails to make me chuckle. The habit is spreading too - Nathan was at it last week.

Whatever you bought couldn't be worse than Dangerous Dave's round - 2 bottles of VK Blue each. Horrific stuff.

I'll try and get you back by forcing you to drink a pint of Carlsberg one night!

Sam

Yeah, I'm generally on the end of Matt's stage 3), the principal problems with this being that
a) he generally wants to talk politics, which I neither understand nor have any real knowledge about
b) he tends to fail to notice that someone's agreeing with him, and carry on insisting they're wrong.... ever considered a career in politics, Matt?

I'd make a perfect tory!

You weren't strictly agreeing with me anyway... I don't know what I was arguing mind, so who knows... Blame the tennents... the sweet nectar of life.

--Matt