Question

When you stand up where does your lap go?

A lap is a mythical thing

It doesn;t go anywhere... it just changes into a crotch

but then when you sit down, where does your crotch go?

It turns back into a lap... magic!

proper bo that!

so, say you were in a gentlemans club and a lady was performing for you, but you were standing up. would you be paying for a lap dance, or a crotch dance?

lol..... depends... most places won't let you stand up when they're doing a dance for you. At lest, so I've heard. (and why would you stand up anyway? you'd expose your "tent")

good point

so it looks as though you'd be a lucky man, or lady to get a 'crotch' dance

do you still have a lap or a crotch if you have no legs?

no.

I suppose it depends where your legs stop. I mean, if you just had no legs at all eg. nothing in your hip sockets, then no, probably neither, but most people who have had their legs amputated still have a lap and a crotch even if they've had them amputated above the knee.
I'll ask my mate Steve, he's a pathologist.